When "looking the part" is what you need
When "looking the part" is what you need
Youth can be mistaken with inexperience, but there are things you can do.
Just the other day, I caught up with a buddy of mine who is a real prodigy in business.
At just 24, he’s already got a few startups under his belt and is currently expanding his latest venture.
The thing is, he doesn’t exactly scream “24”.
A sprinkle of gray hair makes him appear more seasoned than his years suggest, giving him an edge.
While chatting, he asked me:
“Do you think looking older plays to my advantage in business?”
Without skipping a beat, I said: “Absolutely”.
At least in the consulting game, I can state with certainty that youth can often be mistaken for inexperience.
If you look too young, taking you seriously becomes a stretch for some.
I know something about it. I have often been the youngest in a group.
I started primary school a year earlier than my peers, and graduated from high school a year ahead of schedule too (yeah, I used to be smart when I was young). I ran my first large engagement at work when I was 26. When I made partner at my firm, I was the youngest at that level in the region. I think I still am.
During my time in Asia, I was lucky to have a boss who really took a chance at me.
While I was still in the UK, she offered me a role in her struggling program, convinced that I was the right person to rescue it.
A minor issue: I knew nothing about that specific technology, and had never worked before in that industry.
I was 25.
Her plan was: come over, pick up the fundamentals of the industry and the tech, then take over a stream of work and go from there.
I didn’t really believe I could pull it off, but I had never worked in Asia, the location (and the expat package) was attractive, so I figured that, in the worst case, I would come back to Europe with some new learnings and a few more bucks.
(As it turned out, I ended up running the whole program just a year later, outlived my boss at that client, and scored two promotions in two years. In hindsight, I clearly made the right choice!)
I showed up with my clean-shaved baby-face, and I was introduced to some of the key clients: Rick, the group CFO; John, the department CTO; Max, the Head of Transformation.
All three were intimidating individuals to a kid like myself.
Rick was an American man in his 50s who, at the time, was managing some US$200+ billion (yes, with a B) for the client. John was a (more or less) friendly Englishman, and Max was an ex McKinsey Scottish man with a Chinese background who was stern and guarded, until you ask about his favorite rugby team.
The three of them were brilliant professionals.
And I was too naïve to realize that the way I was portraying myself with them was hurting me.
It was time for my experienced boss to have a chat with me…
Looking older
In consulting, appearances often matter just as much as substance, at least at first glance.
Looking older, or let’s say more seasoned, can play to your advantage.
Everything is about perception: clients might equate a few grey hairs with years of experience, wisdom, and a proven track record.
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When you’re advising companies on important and impactful decisions, looking the part can inspire confidence and trust. It is a bit like men wearing a suit or women high heels: it might not change your abilities, but it changes how people perceive you.
My boss was clear: grow a beard.
She continued by describing the way I would have to conduct myself going forward.
What follows is what she really told me (or at least how I remember it).
It was an intense conversation. I enjoyed it actually, because right then I could feel that she was dropping a ton of alpha for me.
When you step into a room, you must feel the air change.
Aim to bring a bit of gravitas every time you walk into a meeting.
Look the part: wear a sharp suit and polished shoes, but do more than that.
Your wording
Be careful with the words you use.
You wouldn’t believe how throwing in the right terms at the right time can have an impact. Demonstrate that you are on the same page as the industry veterans.
Maintain a level of professional detachment, just like Max does with you.
This does not mean being cold, but having the ability to remain objective and not getting overly invested emotionally in work outcomes. This balance can be tricky, but professionals must get it right.
The way you speak
Speak clearly, confidently, and to the point. No beating around the bush.
If you speak with certainty, people listen. Your words will carry more weight, and suddenly, your age becomes just a number.
Don’t be tentative when you speak.
Learn the power of strategic silence in conversations. Experienced consultants often use pauses effectively to emphasize points, allow information to sink in, or encourage others to share more.
This will make you appear more thoughtful and measured.
Your “presence”
Work on your presence.
You are already very short (it’s true, I am!!), make sure you stand tall, make eye contact, and own the space you are in.
For example, using open gestures when explaining concepts indicates confidence and inclusiveness. Mirroring Rick’s body language will create rapport and show empathy.
You are saying: “I’m here, I know my stuff, and I mean business” without uttering a single word.
Use your track record
Always back it up with your track record.
Whenever you can, weave in stories of challenges you have faced and how you have tackled them. Cultivate a collection of industry anecdotes, case studies and personal experiences that you can reference during conversations. It is not bragging if it’s true!
Because you are quite a social guy, I’m sure you have already met so many professionals…
Collect and subtly reference testimonials from past clients and colleagues, especially those that speak to your depth of understanding and the value you have added over time. This external validation will bolster your perceived experience.
A couple of additional thoughts
I soaked all the suggestions she gave me like a sponge.
She was really trying to help me, and she must have seen in me something that I couldn’t even see myself.
I did grow a beard, and I never went back to be clean-shaved since!
These days, about 15 years later, I can say she was mostly right, but there are things that I feel, now, could have been handled a bit differently.
She could have warned me that, if you’re putting on a mask just to seem older, you risk undermining your genuine strengths and unique perspective.
She could have highlighted that, contrary to what many people think, your authenticity could be your strongest advantage. In many cases, that’s your only advantage.
People want to work with YOU.
Being young and looking it is not necessarily a weakness.
If you frame it right, it is a testament to your achievements and capabilities at an early age, which can be incredibly inspiring and persuasive in its own right (more on this in the upcoming newsletter 👀).
Own your youth and make it your strength.
Don’t hide it (or… perhaps, hide it, just a bit).
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Ha, this hits home. I started my consultancy practice when I was 23 - but looked about 15. So growing some stubble was part of the plan. I think there's a lot to be said about authenticity - I definitely get your point there. I also think sometimes you just need to embrace the tactics which work you've outlined here.
I remember embracing similar things. Speaking with intent, being clear, concise, and direct. Getting comfortable taking the most prestigious chair in the room etc....Over time it just becomes more natural.
Great article. Also, hats off to your boss for how she communicated it to you. We've all seen what happened when KPMG's guidance on how to dress and act got out in the public sphere. In my own, big4 experience... I witnessed firsthand how a poorly worded email from a senior partner went down like a lead balloon amongst senior associates. There's a skill in communicating candidly, and of course there's the gift you have for taking that on board and hitting home runs off of it.