Being easy to work with can matter more than your expertise
There is an untold power in soft skills for high-stakes professions...
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In my career, I have had my fair share of tough managers however, as the saying goes, you never forget your first.
When I moved from the UK to Asia to help a struggling team rescue a failing project, my boss was a middle-aged British woman, tough as nails. Over time, I developed a strong bond with her because she pushed me in ways I didn’t always appreciate at the moment, including nudging me toward promotions I thought I didn’t deserve (ah, the naivety of youth!).
Some people on the team were almost scared of her, mistaking her tough love for sabotage.
Nothing could be further from the truth: her goal was to develop her people.
Sure, her methods were up for debate, and a softer touch might have worked better with some personalities, but I knew her intent was always noble.
One of the most challenging dynamics was between my manager - let’s call her Rita - and a senior team member I’ll call Taylor. Taylor was skilled, no doubt, but she struggled with teamwork and wasn’t keen on sharing her knowledge with less experienced colleagues. She questioned all instructions, and every conversation with her used to turn into a drawn-out argument.
I fell into that trap myself a few times. I remember thinking “What the fuck? If every conversation with Taylor eats up an hour of my time, pisses me off, and I still don’t get what I need, why bother? I’ll just stop talking to her”.
It was a real shame because, content-wise, Taylor had a lot to offer the team.
Nowadays, we’d probably label her behavior as toxic but, back then, we just thought she was being a pain in the ass.
Rita had had enough.
After one particularly nasty fallout, Rita told Taylor she’d be off the project by the end of the month. She confided in me that Taylor was too “high maintenance,” even when I argued that her unique skills were invaluable. Rita’s response was something along these lines:
“No one is indispensable. The effort we spend managing Taylor outweighs the value she brings.”
At the time, I didn’t agree.
I kept thinking: “Really? We’re letting go of a great person because she’s a bit difficult?”
Fifteen years later, I’ve changed my mind.
Rita did the only reasonable thing: she removed the bad apple before it could spoil the rest of the basket.
Over the years, I’ve seen consultants deliver incredible results but still get labeled as difficult. They didn’t care about the “user experience” of working with them.
Just like a product is not only about features but how it makes the user feel, your reputation is not just about what you do but how you make others feel while you do it.
Ask yourself:
Are you respectful?
Are you approachable?
Can you disagree politely?
Do you listen (really listen)?
Can you follow directions, even if you don’t love them (can you, as we say, “disagree and commit”)?
These soft skills shape how others perceive you and can make or break your presence within a team.
One famous, big, example that comes to mind is Tim Cook of Apple.
When Steve Jobs was at the helm, he was known for his brilliance… but also for being notoriously difficult to work with: driven, intense, and often abrasive. Jobs was the visionary, the innovator, the most skilled person in the room when it came to product design and strategy but, when it came to making the team better together, that wasn’t his strength.
Tim Cook was not known for his groundbreaking ideas or creative genius.
Instead, he was known for his operational expertise and, more importantly, for his ability to work well with others. Cook’s strength laid in his collaborative nature, his ability to listen, and his knack for creating an environment where others could thrive.
Under Cook’s leadership, Apple became even more successful.
Cook didn’t try to be another Jobs. He couldn’t.
He focused on growing a culture of collaboration, efficiency, and respect. The company demonstrated it could continue to innovate, not because Cook was the most skilled person in the room, but because he knew how to bring out the best in those around him.
I’ll leave you with something that might sound counterintuitive but, from experience, I can say it’s real.
Sometimes, the most valuable thing you can bring to the table is not necessarily your expertise - it’s the ease with which others can work with you.
The most skilled person in the room is not always the one who drives success. Often, it’s the one who knows how to make the team better together.
✍ The Management Consultant
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🎯 INTERESTING SH*T
A few things I found on the internet that you may like…
No matter how many articles I read on Alex Karp, this guy never stops to fascinate me. This time, I found a (long) discussion with The New York Times. Worth a read…
I read Arnold Schwarzenegger’s 77 Lessons at 77, and I think you should read it too..
Lastly, I realize I have been a bit idle over the last couple of months. I was in Europe on holidays with the family, and then I had to work through a backlog of activities once back.
I’ll try to be consistent-ish again going forward!
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Lovely article!
Enjoyed the sharing on your personal experience. Story was energized by the Steve Jobs & Tim Cook example/story.
This is something it took me a long time to learn. Now I’m good at it.
I am reminded of the difference between charisma and charm. Charisma is persuading people to follow you to the ends of the earth. Charm is persuading people that you would follow them to the ends of the earth.