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Tuning into growth: 1 unexpected lesson from my daughter's piano that you can apply to your life today
Cultivate a mindset of continuous growth and adaptation, regardless of age.
My 6-year-old daughter is learning how to play the piano.
Her fascination with music became evident when she was 3 or 4, as she would immerse herself in a world of melodies and songs on her toy keyboard.
Seeing her passion, my wife and I eventually upgraded her toy keyboard to a proper one, downloaded a piano teaching app that offered a free-month trial, and let her test it.
She loved it.
She spent hours discovering the basics of piano and music. So - naturally - we just purchased the 1-year subscription.
Let's see where this goes.
We made an agreement with her: you practice on the app for at least 15 minutes a day.
We figured that small, consistent activity is better than infrequent, long practice sessions - and anyway, good luck holding the attention of a 6-year old for longer than 20 minutes tops.
At first, she made rapid progress and comfortably completed the exercises.
But soon, the exercises got tougher.
To advance, she had to repeat drills many times.
I could see her frustration building.
After a few attempts and a few mistakes, she would completely give up, get cranky, switch off the app and the keyboard, and yell something nasty against piano lessons.
Today, it was time for a quick daddy-daughter time.
The chat with my daughter
"Why do I have to learn piano?" she asked me.
I explained that it was her choice to want to learn piano, and her decision to purchase the full 1-year subscription after she had enjoyed the trial so much.
"Yeah, but it's too hard now" she complained.
Well, of course it's hard because you are making progress... but it's not too hard.
I knew simply telling her that challenges are part of learning wouldn't be enough. So, I decided to approach it differently.
"Is there anything else you want to learn besides piano?'" I asked her.
She told me she wants to become a hairdresser (fancy!) and open her shop in our basement so that her grandma and auntie can become her first (and only?) customers.
I decided it wasn't the time to go through a review of her business model.
I didn't counter her poorly structured pitch but rather I focused on her desire: becoming a hairdresser.
"Do you know how to be a hairdresser?"
"Oh yeah, I can brush mummy's hair and put clips on"
"Can you do something more advanced?"
"Not yet, that's why I have to learn"
I gently reminded her that just like learning piano, mastering hairdressing would also have its challenges.
Initially, complex hairstyles might not turn out as expected, and so she might need guidance.
That's the beauty of learning – starting from scratch and gradually improving.
Every time you learn something new, you go through a few phases.
You have the initial enthusiasm that fuels your will to learn the new skill.
You are probably going to make some fast progress, which will make you think this thing is easy to master.
Inevitably, that won't be the case.
You will start hitting some setbacks, you will not improve your ability as quickly as you did when you first started off, and you will 100% want to quit because, anyway, why bother?!
That exact moment is when the magic happens.
What can adults learn from my 6-year-old?
If you don't quit and instead push through, slowly but surely increasing your ability level, at some point you will achieve 3 outcomes:
1) you will start to enjoy the process of learning,
2) you will get high on the dope of progressing towards mastery,
3) you will actually learn that skill.
The third point above is only a byproduct of 1) and 2).
Ultimately, the real victory isn't in mastering the skill – whether it's piano or hairdressing – but in embracing the journey of learning.
It's in finding joy in the process, and feeling the exhilaration of personal growth.
These experiences are what truly enrich our lives.
Playing the piano or styling hair is the superficial skill you want to learn.
Enjoying the learning process is the foundational capability you will develop that you will then apply for decades in your personal and professional life.
As I was watching my daughter painstakingly press the piano keys, I could think of this essential life lesson:
the journey of learning is a continuous one, stretching far beyond childhood into every stage of our lives.
Her aspirations to master the piano today are laying the groundwork for skills that are invaluable in adulthood: perseverance, adaptability, and the grace to accept and learn from mistakes.
Interestingly, this journey mirrors the challenges we face as adults when learning new skills.
Unlike children, we often approach learning with apprehension.
Our fear of failure and ingrained habits can be barriers, making us hesitant to embrace the discomfort that comes with being a beginner again.
Observing my daughter reminded me of the importance of maintaining a child-like curiosity and an openness to learning - qualities that sometimes get lost in the transition to adulthood.
Ultimately, these lessons transcend the specifics of piano or hairdressing.
They speak to the heart of lifelong learning - a mindset that encourages continuous growth and adaptation, regardless of age.
By discussing this openly with our children and nurturing it within ourselves, we prepare for a future where the ability to learn and adapt is perhaps the most valuable skill of all.
As I look ahead, I want to ask you a question.
How can we embrace this lifelong journey of learning, not as a necessity, but as a source of joy and fulfillment?
Feel free to drop me a line by replying, commenting or finding me on 𝕏.
Inspirational story! 💜
Yes! Love it.
It is impossible to know how moments and times like these will be imprinted in our kids' minds. They may very well remember these, long after we as parents are gone.
Our youngest (14) was a natural at music around 8 or so and dabbled in piano. He moved away from it, but it certainly doesn't mean he's moved away for good.
I now see him take a similar 'curiosity and learning approach' to his current athletic pursuits. He's come to love volleyball. A sport I played and coached for decades. We're both small guys for the game. I'll often find him studying youtube videos of international games. He loves seeing smaller folks excelling at the game.
It's a wonderful analogy and parallels you've presented here. 🙌