Deconstruct your ego
Deconstruct your ego
Perceiving your ego as a tool for personal growth and career development.
Hello to the 1,459 subscribers who read Consulting Intel!
Have you ever felt like you have been hit hard by feedback? Maybe you were called out in a team meeting or got an email that made you feel less than great.
It hurts, I know.
In consulting or any other sphere of the corporate world, this happens more often than any of us would like to admit.
But let me tell you - it’s not all that bad.
In fact, criticism perceived right can be our golden opportunity to grow.
Today, I want to talk about how we can look at criticism not as an ugly thing to be defensive about, but as a blade sharpened to our advantage.
First off, let’s talk about ego because, well, we all have one.
That little voice tells us we are doing great, even when we might not be. It’s like those bumpers in bowling that keep our ball from going into the gutter: they’re handy, but if we rely too much on them, they might obstruct our vision of what lies ahead.
When riding high on a wave of success, it takes our ego only a whisper to trick us into thinking we are invincible. Still, in the communication-focused, high-performance world of business, an inflated ego can cost us dearly.
It can blind us to our mistakes, close us off to our clients and peers, and ultimately lose out on growth opportunities… and the almighty revenue.
We should look at criticism as a GPS, guiding us back on track when we veer off course.
Once we receive feedback and the emotions have settled, it’s time to remedy the pitfall: strip down our failures, learn from them, and come back stronger.
Years ago, I was working on a proposal with Jacob (fictional name 👹), my direct boss at the time.
He was a former BCG partner and a phenomenal storyteller.
Now, I had worked on the draft I was presenting to him for a good few days and was quite confident of my efforts.
On the day of the presentation, I had barely passed the fourth slide when he made me pause: he asked me to take a printout of all the slides and lay them all on the desk.
He had a serious look on his face as he rearranged the storyline, critiqued my title headers, and told me how to rewrite the content of each slide. Jacob was, and is, too polite a guy ever to be mean, but even constructive feedback is hard to digest when you have spent a couple of sleepless nights and only eaten cheap frozen food working on something.
After he was done explaining, I regained the color in my face.
While giving it my all so as not to defend my choices, I soaked in all the information.
I made some notes and made those days’ learnings my standard for future pitches as I grew in my career.
Embrace Radical Openness
This brings me to the concept I call “Radical Openness”, the way of separating ‘You, the professional’ from ‘You, the person who - like most of us - needs therapy.’
Remember:
Feedback is not an attack on your character: it is a critique of your work to make you better at what you do.
Here are 5 actionable steps on how I have embraced “Radical Openness” to wield my ego as a personal and career development tool.
Self-awareness: recognize that ego can be a sneaky beast. Regular self-reflection via journaling or meditation - in any shape or form, between breaks or when stuck in traffic - helps keep it in check. (Don’t use it as an excuse to run off to the mountains while a deadline is coming, and if you do, don’t let your boss blame me!)
Institutionalize feedback: make feedback a regular part of your work life. Curate a group where everyone feels safe enough to learn from each other. It keeps you grounded and open to improvement.
The “Three C’s” technique: When faced with criticism, Clarify, Consider, and Choose. Understand the feedback, weigh its value, and only then decide how to act on it.
Active listening: Show that you are taking feedback seriously by engaging with the person giving it, and even repeating it back to clarify if necessary.
Fail forward: Utilize mistakes as fuel for growth. Each error is a chance to get it right next time. It is easy to say, but a high-performance career requires a high tolerance for failure.
Of course, not all feedback is worth the same.
There is a very thin line between constructive criticism with your progress, the project’s deliverable in mind, and outright meanness, depending on who delivers it.
That’s why we all need a ‘Circle of Critics.’
These are trusted folks who have your best interests at heart and whose advice is worth its weight in gold - because they are the people who have already done what you want to accomplish.
You respect them, and they believe in you.
It takes time, but you will find them in all walks of life.
Criticism, when used wisely, is a powerful tool in your arsenal. It is an investment in your growth by those who see your potential.
The next time feedback gets you down, take a moment to see it for what it really is: an opportunity to become the best professional you can be.
I would love to hear your personal stories about offering and receiving criticism.
There is no right way, but I hope we all learn together.
So, reach out to me by e-mail, Discord, or X, or just comment below.
✍ The Management Consultant
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Brilliant commentary on feedback. I was a guest on a podcast last night, talking about my favourite subject, 'self-aware leadership', and we found ourselves discussing the subject of feedback.
Difficult to give, difficult to received but absolutely essential to both give and receive